4 ways to help get over career bitterness

4 ways to help get over career bitterness4 ways to help get over career bitternessWhen disappointments inevitably happen at work, we can make the mistake of letting that emotion fester into bitterness. Instead of processing our feelings, we let it stew inside of us. Why did he get the promotion over me? Why am I missing time with my family to make this report? Heres how to healthily process everyday work disappointments, so that you wont get consumed with unhelpful bitternessIdentify the causeThe first step in letting go of unhealthy bitterness is recognizing that its there and accepting responsibility for it. If you dont, youll become increasingly disengaged with the work you do.Burnout is about resentment, Marissa Meyer, the former Yahoo CEO once said. Its about knowing what matters to you so much that if you dont get it that youre resentful.Understand that there are usually underlying vulnerabilities behind work bitterness. Your job is to figure out what exactly is causing you to feel upset.As social worker Dan Maher advises resentful people in Psychology Today, Observe it. Allow it to simply be. Hold it. Visualize putting space around it. Notice what happens. Practice identifying and allowing yourself to feel the underlying emotions that anger may be superimposed upon- such as hurt orfear.Separate fact from fiction in your feelingsWhen you feel resentment, you are telling yourself a story about your circumstance that may leid be entirely true. Joseph Grenny, a business social scientist, says that part of reckoning with your resentment is separating your personal nightmares from the realities. To do this, you need to name the roles in the story you assign yourself. That way, you can see if your frustrations are legitimate or notIs it avictimstory - one that emphasizes my virtues and absolves me of responsibility for what is happening?Is it avillainstory - one that exaggerates the faults of others and attributes whats happening to their evil motives?Is it ahelplessstory - one that convinces me that any healthy course of action (like listening humbly, speaking up honestly) is pointless? Naming my stories helps me see them for what they are.Put the resentment in perspectiveReframe your bitterness from an unhealthy obsession to one that can be a useful signal for change.To do this perspective shift, you need to understand that disappointments and hurt are part of what it means to be human, and pangs of jealousy over your peers work achievements are normal. Brittany Luse, producer and podcast host at Gimlet Media, advises employees to be on the lookout for these emotions. That way you can catch them before they become insurmountable resentmentsInstead of letting your emotions feel like a catastrophe, see these setbacks as signals you need to switch paths. Take it from Oprah.Oprah Winfrey, the media mogul and master advice giver, says she does not believe in mistakes, choosing to reframe these setbacks as learning momentsThere is a supre me moment of destiny calling on your life. Your job is to feel that, to hear that, to know that.And sometimes when youre not listening, you get taken off track. You get in the wrong marriage, the wrong relationship, you take the wrong job, but its all leading to the same path. There are no wrong paths, she toldStanford Graduate School of Business students.Channel the resentment into useful actionsAfter you identify and mentally process the source of your bitterness, it can also be helpful to work through them through action. Maher says that physical expressions of your disappointment can be a healthy coping strategy Share these feelings with safe, supportive individuals whom you trust. Journal or write about them. Discharge them through physical activity by working out.Journaling about your fears is a science-backed way to productively worry becauselabeling emotions through writing helps us put them in perspective.Tiny annoyances and petty feuds can build into mountains of resentmen t if you are not careful. Thats why mastering your emotions is so important. When you learn how to own and honor your emotions without letting them control you, you become the master of your own career.